It's been a whil since I last viewed this guestbook, I felt I needed to leave a message again as I didn't do that for some time. The new year has just started Michael's anniversary is recent before that. For years years I was devastated thought this feeling of total confusion grief would never fade. But now 11 years after his death I've found a way to finally accept it the biggest part of my emotions are now deep gratitude rather than daily tears like before. I flew to Sydney for the funeral 3 times after that for the memorial service, a trip I took which I will never forget regret. After many years of endless heartache I came to terms with the loss but as a different person. The massive impact has left a lifetime scar. Every day I see Michael's picure here on my wall on the piano. When I take his picture in my hands to clean the frame, I hold it close to me for a while then for a moment it feels like he's with us once again. In my emagination he says he likes my soft sweater. Then I put the picture back again and encourage him to sing for me. His memory became a new kind of reality to meand I feel that I need this to replace the reality of his death. He,and nobody else but he has taught me how much I'm actually able to love someone. I can't remember ever having loved anyone else even more than I love him. The unavoidable truth with that is that with his death I also learned how much pain it gives to lose that so much loved person. Michael was one of a kind to all of us. His talents were unmeasurable and the impact on others who loved him were equally huge. Here at home I sometimes touch his hand or hair on his pictures,and this little escape from the harsh reality keeps me going since the moment came that I had to accept that his presence changed into a memory. I love Michael more than words can ever say. He's a part of me and always will be. We'll keep him cloe to us in memory and heart for the rest of our lives! Mary from The Netherlands.