my own brother died in the same manner. this yr it will be 10 yrs. the pain of his death does not end but it abates. i suppose that is why i am writing. in some way i feel joined at the hip with your pain. it is consoling to belong to a group of people who are collectively healing from the same experience. these dead live together in the same circle of heaven where i believe there has got to be a great deal of joy and hilarity.